Many
of us today are living very confused lives. We live a life without purpose,
vision, clarity or direction. We live a life of distraction, inconsistencies,
complexities and frustration.
We are keen on making good success of our lives, but absolutely
disorganised and chaotic in our approach to success.
After struggling mentally and psychologically to find answers
and we can't, we let go of all the lofty dreams and high expectations and
eventually settle for what we already have.
I'm sure left to many of us, we would want better houses, better
cars, better clothing, better lifestyles and more money, if we know exactly how
to acquire all these, we would indeed give it a shot, but we do not know how to
go about acquiring all these without risking what we already have, hence we are
scared
Many aren't making effort or venturing into greater endeavours
due to uncertainties. They are not sure if their great plans would work
or fail, they focus more on the realities of failure rather than the
possibility and glory of success and they'd rather remain as they are than risk
all they have.
Many hold on to jobs they really hate and don't enjoy simply to
secure that monthly income. Many tolerate difficult work conditions; travelling
many hours in the morning and evening through intense traffic just to retain
their sad employments. They can't just imagine losing that employment; ah! for
them it would be disastrous.
This remains their attitude and thinking because they don't
understand the why's in their lives. They do not have good reasons for doing
what they do in, and with their lives.
As mankind and individuals, we are daily faced with choices that
we must make; some of these choices are hard choices with consequences, hence
when we make our choices, we must know why and be convinced and fixated on our
reasons for the choices we make.
Too many people are making choices today without giving much
thought to these choices. Some make these choices because a friend made the
same choice, some make the choice because it feels good, some make the choice
because its trending, some make choices because it's easier and many settle for
choices because it's the only option they believe they have.
When you don't have super reasons for the choices you make, you
will eventually be fickle in running along with your choice and you'd not give
it all it requires to deliver the goals intended at the end of the day.
When you're unstable with your choices, you would mishandle
these choices and lose out at the end of the day.
Confusion in the lives many of us live today can be traced
to choices we made flippantly. You didn't give much though or deep enough
thought to it, you just made it and today it's tearing you apart and bringing
you frustration and pain.
As individuals we make decisions about our jobs, businesses,
careers, friendships, finances, religious and social associations, client and
customer, our spouses, in-laws, relatives even our children. We make decisions
about our appearance, our health, habits, lifestyles, purchases and investments;
we make decisions about so very many subjects.
If however we do not maintain a concrete why; that is a firm
reason for our choices, we would at the end be frustrated, confused and
probably filled with regret.
If you don't know why you chose what you've chosen, you cannot
identify what is wrong when anything goes wrong, and when you can't tell
exactly what is wrong, you definitely can't know how to fix it - that is
getting it back on track simply because you don't even remember where and what
the real track is.
Many people today don't have strong reasons for their
employments. Many just seek employment for income sakes. When they now get
employed and discover that salary cannot solve their financial problems; as the
more they earn the more they spend, they then become disappointed and
frustrated. They don't do their jobs passionately anymore and they're mad at
their bosses. This is because they assumed salary was the solution to financial
crisis, they did not know discipline and financial literacy are the keys to
financial success. Their reason for seeking employment was a wrong reason,
hence the frustration and disappointment at the end of the day.
Many ladies are married today simply because they got pregnant
for a man they would naturally not want to marry. Many men are married also
because they impregnated a girl they just wanted to date not marry, but they
had to marry since a baby was coming.
Their reason for ending up as a couple is in the first place
misplaced, hence there is a tendency they would have very troubled marriage, as
both of them would see gaps and find faults with each other.
The why for their getting married is not the reason for
marriage; so they'll end up as parents to their children but hardly see
themselves as the right husband or wife for themselves. The mistakes and
weaknesses in each of their lives would be looked upon with dismay and regret;
each party believing if they had married who they really wanted, these gaps
wouldn't be there.
When the reason for a choice or decision is not concrete or
sensible enough, you would eventually feel disappointed, discouraged and down
cast. You will feel used, abused and misused, you'd become upset and sensitive
and you would begin to develop a victim mentality – you'd feel as if the whole
world is against you.
This is because your lack of understanding of your life due to
flippant choices made in time past is rendering you helpless and your life is
out of your control; you're not in charge anymore, you have become a victim, in
fact a tool of your own life.
Too many people today are angry because their lives are out of
control, hence they hold those they feel are now in charge of their lives
responsible for all that happens to them. They have become experts in blame
games, finger pointing and criticism.
Their parents are at fault, their rich uncle is at fault, the
government is at fault, their spouses are at fault, their employer is at fault,
the devil is at fault, somebody is always at fault when things don't go well;
it's never their own fault, its someone else that is always responsible. A sure
mark of loss of control.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to put ‘the whys' behind ‘the
what's' in your lives. It's time you define clearly the reason and objectives
for everything in your life. This is the first line of action in regaining
control of your life.
Why are you in that employment, why are you in that business,
why are you married to that spouse, why are you living where you're living, why
do you belong to that religious group or denomination, why are you learning
that skill, why are you seeking that employment, why are you seeking that post
graduate admission?
You must have good reasons and commit them to memory and not
swerve away from your reasons and the objectives.
For example all my years in paid employment, I was more
interested in learning than salary or promotion. I had my future all planned
out so I was seeking relevant knowledge and know how, I wasn't competing for
promotion or desperate for relevance; all I wanted was knowledge.
What you want would determine what matters to you and what gets
to you. When you know what you want and you're getting what you want, you would
be satisfied. Satisfaction comes from knowing why. You would know when to move,
how to move and the move to make. You would know when to stop or change, you
will be in control when you define, understand and stand by your whys for doing
all you do.
Knowing the whys in your life would restore control to you and
you would begin to give your life its true meaning once again, dear friend,
know the whys in your life.
Enjoy
your day.
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